How much is that doggie in the window??????

Well here they are; the ones with the waggly tails.......

Peppi and Gidget; the dynamic duo. They are supposed to be pure-bred chihuahuas...

We've had quite a few chihuahuas over the years.... and these just aren't like the others. They're lovely little dogs, though. They just love a cuddle....... and have very busily just cuddled up together on my jumper on the lounge. Cute. Too cute.

Sorry the photos are blurry.

Have you ever tried to get two energetic and busy pups to sit still for a photo??????
And I had to used GG's camera-phone, as well. You would think that I didn't own a camera. There is only a camera sitting on GG's table that can't be used as she's lost the charging cable (she received the camera as a Christmas gift...) And there's a still camera as well as a dvd/still camera at home.....

Peppi is the rather handsome black-coated boy on the right. He's about the size of a fox terrier. And Gidget is the rather blurry smaller wee-beastie on the left. She's a little bigger than an average chihuahua, but smaller than a smallish jack russell or foxy, with a roughish coat, with black and tan patches.

They are, in theory, siblings, from the same litter.
I think that mum was a bit of a girl around town, if you know what I mean..... There was another girl like Gidget in the litter that hadn't been sold when we bought these two. But she found her new home within minutes of us buying the other two anyway.

Here's Gidget finally sitting still for a millisecond.

If anyone knows someone who could give these guys a nice home, please let me know. They can be separated, but Peppi would find the separation a bit stressful in the beginning. It's nothing that some intense loving wouldn't fix. They've both been de-sexed, vaccinated, wormed and microchipped. Dad loves this pair, but he's beginning to become concerned (me too) as to how he will manage them when I'm not around in a few weeks.

2 weeks, to be precise. There are only 7 more face-to-face days of TAFE left......

2 more exams to go.......

Getting there, folks, getting there.

Last weeks exam went incredibly well. I guessed myself to a very hale and hearty 90% folks!!!! I was gobsmacked! The look on my face must have been priceless, as one of the girls was looking very concerned and asked if I was all right, or was something wrong.........

Let's hope that today's final anat & phys exam went along the same way.......

I had a very enjoyable day working at Singleton Hospital yesterday, and have 2 more clinical days on the next 2 Wednesdays. I'm looking forward to getting stuck in and having 2 really good days. I am so lucky; my 2 TAFE-mates and I have been allocated the medical and maternity wards. They're not all that big, and the babies (of which there were 2 yesterday, a boy and a girl) are divine. There is NOTHING on this earth quite as miraculous to me as a baby. I never cease to be amazed/delighted/humbled and rivetted by the whole process......

Mother Nature at her absolute best.

And now, I've got to wash up. Tomorrow is footie at East Maitland, home to Wattle Grove, then Sydney for Scorpaboy to ride on Sunday. And a trip to IKEA for Beloved and I to pick up the lights for the bathroom. Hopefully, they'll be in stock this time. And this will be Beloved's 1st time for the Swedish experience....... probably his last, if I know him as well as I think I do.......

So have a safe and happy weekend all!!!!

Byeeee ;0)

xoxoxoxoxoxo

Oh Crystal ball... please help

HELP PLEASE PEOPLE!!!!!!!

Yesterday, One of the girls at TAFE was trying to describe "these blue stones that come from Mexico" to one of the other girls, and I just happened to have some turquoises in my bag. Or so I thought.

When I went to the zippered pocket of my bag, in the little pouch, in the little purse (both of which were open), instead of finding my 3 lovely blue stones, there was nothing! They were of little value in a monetary sense, but they were a gift from my departed and much-beloved Aunt for my 21st birthday. I had found the pouch and put it in my bag a few weeks ago to show GG, and just hadn't taken it out. There was $1400 in another purse in the same pocket, and it's still there... well it was until I banked it shortly afterwards.

Any ideas? I've been in too many cars and too many places to be sure of where I've lost them....

Any help would be appreciated.

Thanks.

:0(

PS.... sorry about the title xoxoxo

Lions and tigers and bears.. and not seeing the forest for the trees...

Hrumph!

Hormones are raging.

Home from TAFE to snarling exchange with GG (who most likely has her own hormonal issues). Decided she doesn't want to "Do" anything anymore at TAFE. Last week we decided that this was ok. She just wants to move out, work, and live her life.

Pah.

Wouldn't we all????????

She's had a wonderful weekend tripping around the countryside with her friends.
I guess that's 1 out of 3. A request in regard to a job application that SHE was keen on pursuing, and hasn't bothered about, sparked the exchange. Lots of time to spend with friends in the last week, and recovering from said fun. Too busy to due anything of any real importance, it would seem.

She does nothing around the house, including washing up (once or twice a fortnight at most) unless it is nagged out of her. Won't help out by cooking, but will happily cook her self cheesy 2min noodles courtesy of her Pop's fridge and cupboard, an hour before tea time. Doesn't wash up her mess, either. She never puts anything away; you can always see where she's been. Tonight, when I arrived home and commenced cooking tea, I noticed the residual mess from her meal preparation. When challenged (too strong a term, really), about her lack of consideration of other housemates, (ie, me asking why she didn't start some veges for tea since she'd been home for quite a while, rather than just look after herself, she said "fine, I won't eat then". Me, I say, "Well, if you won't contribute to the household, then maybe you shouldn't".. She has lived here with Nanandpop for over a year, rent-free, and has never even lifted a duster or even dreamed about cleaning the bathroom, despite repeated requests on my part. Her bedroom: most likely quarantined by council. She washes her clothes occasionally, and puts them straight into the drier... Hang them on the line? What? That would take effort... She has been continually asked not to smoke in her room, but this has been disregarded as well. A real risk of fire....She always owes Pop money for the utilities. Tonight, I told that she is just a sponge, sucking whatever she can get. I'm over it.
I don't have a problem with her wanting to live "her own life", but with that choice comes responsibility. Such as actually having to pay one's own way, and consider others around you and contributing to the household. She is working 1 or 2 days each week, but is not eligible for benefits as she is a "Full-time"student (that's a joke); I mentioned to her that now that she's not going to TAFE anymore then she can probably register for unemployment benefits but since that entails actually going to Centrelink, which she detests, it's doubtful. And she'll actually have to apply for jobs and attend interviews. And report to Centrelink again.

She just can't wait to "Move out and Be her own person".......... Neither can I. Actually, I thought she did that last year. Except that it's not really all that much fun. Especially when your lifestyle keeps you broke. And you can't get out of your own way to change it.

Growing up sucks. It only gets harder, especially if you do it the hard way.

Anyway, she stomped off to burlesque dancing (in the car that I pay for); she might as well enjoy it while she can "afford" it..........

I hate the way our communication sucks like this, more often than not these days. But I'm tired of repeating myself. And making excuses.

But I know that I'm not alone. And as she says, "at least I'm not doing ice , Mum.....".

And she'd better not either.

Every time I've wanted to publish a post like this one, I've stopped myself out of respect for the feelings of all involved. Tonight, I just decided to..... Actions and consequences.

I'm ready.

And dinner's cooked, so Pop and I will pass a quiet meal together. There's never much to say.

Nite all.

xoxoxoxo

Blinded by the light........

Does anyone realise how AMAZING it is to be able to walk into a room and switch on a light?????

Finally, we can do just that.

It's only been 3 years since we bought this house.... we've had very moody, ambient lighting provided by bedside lamps........

Yessirree.... electricity is GOOD!!!

Thank you Mr Edison, for your electric light bulb.

And Alexander Graham Bell.
And Gugliemo Marconi
And John Logie Baird.

Luv 'em all.

See you all. I'm off to bed. Unfortunately, Beloved is already in residence, so I can't experience the joy of the flick of the switch.......

Oh well. At least he's warmed the bed.

He's good at that.

Goodnight! xoxo

PS; Here's the rest of the song, minus a few repetetive bits; What on earth is it about?????

Blinded by the light,
revved up like a deuce,
another runner in the night
Blinded by the light,
revved up like a deuce,
another runner in the night
Blinded by the light,
revved up like a deuce,
another runner in the night
Madman drummers bummers,
Indians in the summer with a teenage diplomat
In the dumps with the mumps as the adolescent pumps his way into his hat
With a boulder on my shoulder, feelin' kinda older,
I tripped the merry-go-round
With this very unpleasin', sneezin' and wheezin,
the calliope crashed to the ground
The calliope crashed to the ground
But she was...
Blinded by the light,
revved up like a deuce,

Some silicone sister with a manager mister told me I go what it takes
She said "I'll turn you on sonny to something strong,
play the song with the funky break"
And go-cart Mozart was checkin' out the weather chart to see if it was safe outside
And little Early-Pearly came by in his curly-wurly and asked me if I needed a ride
Asked me if I needed a ride
But she was...
Blinded by the light,
revved up like a deuce,
another runner in the night
Blinded by the light

She got down but she never got tired
She's gonna make it through the night
She's gonna make it through the night
But mama, that's where the fun is
But mama, that's where the fun is
Mama always told me not to look into the eye's of the sun
But mama, that's where the fun is

Some brimstone baritone anticyclone rolling stone preacher from the east
Says, "Dethrone the dictaphone, hit it in it's funny bone,
that's where they expect it least"
And some new-mown chaperone was standin' in the corner,
watching the young girls dance
And some fresh-sown moonstone was messin' with his frozen zone, reminding him of romance
The calliope crashed to the ground
But she was...
Blinded by the light,
revved up like a deuce,
another runner in the night
Blinded by the light

Madman drummers bummers, Indians in the summer with a teenage diplomat
In the dumps with the mumps as the adolescent pumps his way into his hat
With a boulder on my shoulder, feelin' kinda older,
I tripped the merry-go-round
With this very unpleasin', sneezin' and wheezin,
the calliope crashed to the ground
Now Scott with a slingshot finially found a tender spot and throws his lover in the sand
And some bloodshot forget-me-not said daddy's within earshot save the buckshot, turn up the band
Some silicone sister with a manager mister told me I go what it takes
She said "I'll turn you on sonny to something strong"

Who would know??? oxoxo

Black Dog..... with tan. Smooth. Very smooth. With big ears . And one with white and tan too... Small and rough coated, with amazing eyebrows..

never fear, the Blogmuggle is here.

Sort of.

TAFE is ok. Today I was nominated as competent in "Infection Control Procedures". OSCA was better than expected last week; I earned a smashing 37 out of 40 (equal 1st place) until another student complained of inconsistencies in the gradings, so all the exams were re-called. 8 students will be affected by the review, and guess what???? I'm one of them.......

*sigh*

oh well..... At least it's done and out of the way. Tomorrow night I have my Senior First Aid exam and Skills assessment.

GOD IT'S HARD TO TYPE WITH TWO PUPPIES WRESTLING NEXT TO YOU (AND ON YOUR LAP AND LAPTOP!!!!!!!)

I have another exam on Friday, and then another couple over the final few weeks.

Yes, that's right..... final few weeks ....... only 3 more after this one......

Damn. Now Gidget wants to sit on my lap. I now have a pup under each forearm, laying down along side me, as close as they can get.

Does anybody want a 7 month old, vaccinated, desexed, microchipped chihuahua cross terrier pup? There are 2 here that could do with a busy household........ seriously. These puppies are way too busy for my dad. They drive him mad. But he loves them. I keep telling him that he needs an adult dog, but it's just all too hard. And Mum bought them.

Anyway, I am all out of puff for tonight. I need to study. Anat and Phys I can do; bullshite theorists I have to work on........

Why do I feel like I want it to be Friday....... when it's only Tuesday??????????????

I can't even think of a title for my blog.

There's no music in there tonight. Thinking, thinking..... Yeah..... that will do.

It's right on up there at the top.

Love and hugs. You can't have too much of either.

And I think I might as well sign up for the non-practicing lesbian club..........

Shiny happy people......

Hi guys!!!

Well, natural brilliance has come to the rescue at TAFE. My first Anat & Phys exam netted me 89%... WOOT! It gives me a nice window of comfort for the next one... (cue evil laughter) muhahaha....

And then in a communications role play last Wednesday I earned 75%... thanks goodness for Mr Harris, an new amputee who was concerned about his star greyhound, "Blue Steel", racing at Dapto last Saturday because his wife, Sylvie, was too busy to train him....... well, we were told that Mr Harris had pain after his leg amputation; the rest was my invention.......

I've handed in my "Legal Studies" essay early today (it wasn't due in until Friday) as there is a major Interview/Role Play scenario assessment tomorrow, termed 'OSCA' (Objective Structured Clinical Assessment)... very scary..... Then next Tuesday, there is another role play assessment on Risk Assessment, plus an assignment on OH&S. The following Friday there is an exam on Nursing Practice....... Before the end of the month I have a day of clinical placement at Singleton Hospital, followed by another Anat & Phys exam the next day. I've got 4 nights of Senior First Aid as well over the next 2 weeks as well. More exams and assessments follow on over the last few weeks...... Phew!

I guess I'd better get off here and get on with my revision. I'm not really all that confident about OSCA.......

One more thing; My friend, Katrina, is having a lumpectomy & her axillary lymph glands removed tomorrow morning about 9 o'clock, so all any healing thoughts you can send her way would be appreciated. And check your breasts, my friends. Please.

And I think I've finally worked what Mothers' Day is all about now that Mum is gone......

Ok.... It's head down, bum up for me for now.

Love to you all, Bloggie :0)

A Kiss Is Not A Contract

I love these song lyrics...they just tickle my weird ol' fancy......

A kiss is not a contract
But it's very nice
Mmmmm, very nice
Just because you've been exploring my
mouth
Doesn't mean you get to take an
expedition further south
No.
A kiss is not a contract,
But it's very nice,
It's very, very nice,
Just because we've been playing tonsil
hockey
Doesn't mean you get to score the goal
that's in my jockey
Just because I'm in a two man
novelty band
Doesn't mean it's all about
poontang.
I can't go around loving everyone
I just wouldn't get anything done
You can take me out to dinner that
might be quite nice
you could buy me a burrito and some beans
and rice
but that won't get you into pants
paradise
They call it a fly because it takes
you up to heaven oh oh
A kiss is not a contract but it's very
nice. It’s very very nice.
I'm only one man, baby, pretty baby
We're only two men, ladies
Babies. Pretty babies.

Thanks to Flight of the Choncords for this very enlightening prose.......

It's a lovely day today....

Good Morning Bloggers.

Sunday morning in Blogmuggle land is quiet. Beloved & SB have gone a-biking in Sydney, GG is in Mussie after a night of "visiting" with dear friends, and VB is still snoring quietly in his room with another sonorous friend.

Nice. I'm sitting in my mum's dressing gown, the fire is still warm from last night, and Clare Bowditch is playing on the stereo. I've enjoyed my cup of tea and toast with vegemite.

Yep, nice. But it can't go on for much longer.

I have to walk down the street to buy washing powder and fire up the washing machine, as the baskets overfloweth. Beloved has been doing his best. The shed looks ok (it's all relative, you know), the boys and he aren't starving, and all appointments have been met so far. So, they CAN survive without me. But I don't think that it's a state that they can maintain for a very long time. It's do-able at the moment because there is an end-date..... June 13 to be exact. For this block of TAFE anyway.

Poor Beloved's been very busy on the house front this week too. He has 3 weeks more of long service leave, then it's back to work (for a rest, methinks). I don't think that enough is going to be done to allow him to relax back into work, and things are going to drag on...... We should have been having a painting frenzy this weekend, but the gyprock setter, who was supposed to be here on Monday hasn't turned up, and so nothing more that relates to the walls/ceilings can be done. The wet-area waterproofing guy is booked in for tomorrow and I don't know how he's supposed to do his job either. And if he doesn't get his bit done, then the council can't inspect it, the tiler can't tile, and the plumber can't plumb. And that's only the wet areas.......

Mind you, there's plenty of other things to do. A couple of doors needs painting or oiling, the old sideboard that was Beloved's grandparents' needs to be sanded, sealed and milk-painted so it can be transformed into a vanity cupboard, and I need to spray-frost 2 fanlights that are being transformed into a window.

And then there's TAFE. Tomorrow is the 1st anatomy & physiology test, so study needs to be done..... I think I'm going to be winging it with a rather large percentage of my natural brilliance, as my focus has been a little bit absent..... I'm sure it will kick in, won't it? Some of my fellow students have been studying using flashcards.... what the ????????

See, here I am blogging when I should be studying, washing, painting (do you ever have trouble with letters? Painting always comes out as apinting, you as yopu, woman as woamn and have as hvae or something similar) spraying, sanding.

Nope, no discipline.

But

I am glad of my life. I am lucky; fortunate. Please send some healing love to my friend Sharon, who has been fighting the good fight against cancer for a few years now. She is being released from the hospice at the Mater on Wednesday to come home...... there is no miracle cure for all. She remains strong, but there is an air about her, a look that says "love your life"... Something has shifted in her recently..... I haven't spent a great deal of time with her, as she is an incredibly private person, and I didn't wish to intrude into her space & peace that she has so carefully constructed around herself. Her husband is beautiful; her teenagers are simply that. They've been dealing with this all for a few years now, no children should have to. It's bloody difficult enough for adults..... I visited her in hospital last week, and showed her the angel gift pouch that Lisa had given me the morning of Mum's funeral and her reaction was amazing. She rolled it around in her hands, looking at the angel, then lifted it to her face, closed her eyes and sniffed, inhaling the perfume of the flowers, and lost herself in it for a few seconds. "That's beautiful", she said, holding it a little longer, before, handing it back. "Lovely", she said.
But you know, I think that she needs it more than I do now.....

Anyway, as I said, I have no discipline. I just get lost in the writing. And that, Diana, is what is so good about being able to blog.... I suppose other people might even find themselves in the writing.

I've got to go. Life awaits.

Love to you all.

Cyndy xoxox ;0)

No songs about 8...

Jacqui tagged me so..... here are 8 random facts about me.....

1. I love golliwogs..... politically incorrect term that it is, I just lurve the little material guys and gals....
2. I have a collection of Royal Doulton "Old Country Roses China".
3. My husband and my best friend share the same birthday, and we share the same wedding anniversary date, too.
4. I spent 20yrs Scottish Highland Dancing, and taught from the ages of 14 to 25... as well as intermittent times afterwards.
5. I am absolutely hopeless at managing my money.
6. My 1st pet was a black dachshund named "Schnitzie"
7. My favourite hot drink is a chai latte
8. I thought that I was fat when I weighed 58kg.... How sad is that???????

So who to tag??????

Kris from "Chronicles of Kris..."
Toni from "Things are Getting Better"
Jen from "One Day at a Time.."

TAG...... YOU'RE IT!!!!!!!

Halloo Everyone!!

It's so nice to be back. Although I must say, I haven't actually missed blogging, but I HAVE missed reading and putting in my 2 bob's worth on everyone else's blogs.

It's been such a busy week at TAFE that I wouldn't have had the time to spare anyway. Just the anatomy & physiology is enough to do my head in. When I started the first year of nursing at uni when Vegeboy was a baby, we covered the same area over a period of 3 or so weeks that we have covered in 1 or 2 days this week....... And after 8 hours at TAFE, we are then expected to put in around 3hrs of "self-directed learning" as well as review what was done in class and prepare essay topics... PHEW!!!

I'll just keep on pedalling, shall I?????

Things have been quite busy for Beloved at Wattle Grove. The extension is now "locked up" and the lining has commenced on the inside. Together, he and I will gyprock the our bedroom and hallway this weekend. Hopefully, the new bit will be ready to paint next weekend. So if any of you are keen hands with a paint roller or brush, feel free to head on up and work out some of your creative urges. I'll have to get stuck in and buy some paint this week. And choose the colour too. I know that we're going to paint the kitchen walls the same red as Scorpaboy's room, but I have to choose an off-white/cream for the rest of the living area, and there are just soooo many. An I'm a bit concerned that the ceiling paint that we have used in the boys' rooms might be a bit to "yellow" for the living area........

Trivial, isn't it. But it's my nest; I've waited 3 years and put us through the ringer to have the home that I want.... and I want to LOVE it when it's done...... Even though Beloved keeps reminding me with a smirk that HE will have a lovely new kitchen to use.... and he can't cook....... It had better be clean!!!

When I take some up-to-date pics tomorrow, I'll try to post some pics of the progress......

Cheers!

GOOD LUCK TO KRISTY-LEE & KADE TOMORROW!!!!!

So long, it's been good to know you...

Or at least that's how it's going to seem.

I'm off to Nan&Pops this afternoon, and won't be back here at home until next weekend..... and there is no internet there, even though I have been paying for broadband for over 12 months. GG's modem died sometime in January, and despite repeated attempts and requests to telstra, it is still not fixed.

I am awaiting a consultant as we speak........ Crap! I could be here for hours, and I have to take the ferals to see the Crusty Demons soon......

After requesting fellow time-wasters/coffee drinkers the other day, I then realised that Saturday was a busy day at The Cottage..... so I'll find other ways of amusing myself.........

Oh, this is bullshit! I can't spend all this time waiting for Telstra..... I dealt with for them nearly 2hours over 3 phone calls about 10 days ago..........

See y'all later. Have a good weekend!!!!!

hugs and kisses, muggle xoxooxoxoxx

Brown sugar...... (or not)

Oh, By the way....

Is anybody up for coffee on Saturday afternoon? After 2pm?

I have some time to fill while Beloved and Vegeboy are at "Crusty Demons"..........

Fancy forgetting the most important piece of information.......

xoxoxoxoxoxox

Love never dies...............

Well, hello there bloggers.

It's been a very, very fast week since Mum passed away. And there's lots, yet not enough to do to organise a funeral. A myriad of minute details that all have to be addressed for the Funeral Directors to do their job to the best of their ability. Which is ok, except that most of them you really can't be bothered with. And there can be some genteel resistance (raised eyebrows and a quizzical "OK, how/why do we do that?") if you wish to do something a little out of the ordinary. But anyway, Mum's funeral is done. And it was, in my opinion, a Good One. A real celebration of her life. And very much ( I hope) the type of send off that she wanted. It's hard to do that if people don't tell you what it is that they actually want, and most people don't tell anyone what they would like at the end. It is intensely personal. So you have to fly blind, really. But to me, it was important that Mum's funeral was significant and really about her. A unique individual, she was.

A few people (well, lots really) have asked why and how I delivered Mum's eulogy (AKA yoo-goo-gally, for those fans of "Zoolander") at her memorial service. I'll answer "Why" first. Actually, I just couldn't bear the thought of some stranger telling my mother's story, based on a half hour meeting with family members who are too upset to really think about the importance of their answers to generalised questions. And I had decided quite a few weeks ago that I would like to do it; last year after I spoke at old Jess' funeral, actually. It is such an honour and privilege to speak about someone at such an important occassion. You can't underestimate how much it helps the people who are attending to remember the real person that they know and love at such a sad time. It also goes without saying that I loved my mother, and I wanted to protect her memory and make her proud of me. And, my heart and my gut (and maybe my mother) told me that I must.

How? As I said to Lovely Lisa way back when things first started to get away on us with Mum's care, Mum and I had been discussing her potential death for quite some time, so on some level, the idea wasn't quite so scary for me. Too horrid to really consider, but a possibility none-the-less. And after watching my mother suffer for too long, the Monday before she died, I was able to ask my Mother had she had enough of her life, and she nodded. So together we made the decision that we had been discussing for years. Her trust in me is amazing.... And then we had to wait a little while for the "healthcare professionals" to convince others that it was time. Which, thankfully, they did. Then I had two beautiful, peaceful nights alone with my mother; for some reason, my family decided that I would be the one to stay with Mum each night. And I am eternally grateful to them for this, as it allowed to me to share my innermost thoughts with my Mum, and grieve in private, in my own time. A wonderful gift, to be sure. And even though the dialogue was one-sided, it gave me the time and space that I needed to face the task ahead, and deal with the grief of others. As my mother would have, and would expect me to also. She was always the strong one, my mother; the family matriarch; the rock. And now it's my turn. That's not to say that I am finished grieveing for my mother. I will never stop missing her. But rather than turn into the "wailing woman" that my daughter suggested I ought to be (tongue-in-cheek), I am a bit of like a tap that needs a new washer, or re-seating. Self-preservation whilst others are distressed (ie not taking on their emotions) was important to me, and enabled me to provide them with comfort when they needed it. And just writing Mum's story gave me an outlet as well. And on the day of her service? It is amazing how the presence of all those people gave me the strength that I needed. In their face of their loss and the depth of their love, I found strength. As I looked around the room, I could see the teary smiles as people remembered their roles in Mum's life and it helped me enormously to press on. And my family were unfailing in their belief that I was the right person to represent them and Mum. Faith can carry you far, can't it? My mother made me believe that just about anything was possible. I used to bring her home carnations from off the compost heap at school when I was little and we would plant them in the garden together. I was delighted to watch them grow. It wasn't until I was a lot older that I discovered that Mum used to buy carnation plants of the same colour and plant them so as not to disappoint me......
As kitchy as it sounds, I was wrapped up in a big warm glove of love on Monday.......
And I really believe that my Mum was right there with me, encouraging me and giving me strength. I am my Mother's daughter, after all.......
And my kids needed to see that even in the worst possible scenario, good things can happen. As awful as funerals are, the people who are left behind need them. The uplifted feelings afterwards and subsequent relaxation in the people that came to my Uncle and Aunt's home afterwards was a wonderful thing. The house was full of life and laughter. A lot of folk who haven't seen each other for a long time were brought together thanks to Mum, and plans have been made for re-unions. She will be pleased.
And later on that night, as I curled up on the lounge to sleep, my beautiful Mother smiled at me from a photo on the cupboard. And I'm sure her smile was broader than before.........

I will be forever thankful to my Beloved for his un-wavering and un-questioning support over the past few months. He has coped well with my absence, with my grief, as well as that of the children and his own. I really haven't been there for any of them lately. And most important of all, he seemed to understand my need for my own space, especially around the time of Mum's death. He was there for me, but quietly, if you know what I mean. I am quite sure that a lot of men end up dis-enabling & dis-empowering women with their urge to protect them at times, even though they seek only to help them.

I thank you all. I'm sure that your thoughts carried me through as well. And Lisa, your gift is now in my handbag, and carried at all times. As is Mum's little Buddah that was always in her handbag. I hope that they don't counteract each other... both are gifts of love....

That's enough for tonight. You can't suffer too much of the inner workings of the Blogmuggle in one sitting. Tomorrow I will blog some pics of the house. The renos are progressing, and all the ridiculous hiccups not withstanding, am loving the way it is looking!

Goodnight *mwa* zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

By Rick Price

By the creek there's a church yard and a tree so tall
She was only forty-seven when she passed away
And though the years go by, still it feels like yesterday
Sitting there by the wood stove
On a cold winter morning
I can see her in her dressing gown
Saying "You'll be late for school"
She had such a gentle way
She'd understood, and with a mother's heart
She loved me like no other could

Now I know that love never dies
I believe it, true hearts never lie
Even though sometimes I cry
I know that love never dies

Midnights and country roads
In the old blue Holden
Saying "Son, if you work hard...
Well you're bound to be a star"
Every show we played from Tamborine to Kerry Town
She was always there
That special face in every crowd

Now I know that love never dies
I believe it, true hearts never lie
Even though sometimes I cry
I know that love never dies

I swear sometimes I feel her
Smiling down on me
How I love that woman
And what she gave to me

So God be her shepherd
And keep her safe and warm
Never let her heart grow weary
Never let her feel alone
And when the angles come to take me
Tell her I won't be afraid
'Cause I know in heaven she waits

For love never dies
I believe it, true hearts never lie
Even though sometimes I cry
I know that love never dies

Even in the quietest moments.

Good morning bloggers.

It has been an interesting few days, too say the least. In amongst the matter of dealing with the matters that surround loosing a loved one, and believe me, there are a lot of them, the everyday things of life just go on. And thank goodness for that.

Yesterday, on the lovely Lisa's birthday, I watched Vegeboy play a great game of football against Western Suburbs, which ended up with two of our boys hospitalised, one with concussion, and the other had been carted off in an ambulance. I'm not sure what had happened to Brandon, but it's a lousy way to finish off a game, which ended up as a draw.

Then I had the most lovely afternoon, spent with family and friends at the wedding of my beautiful God-daughter, Leah, to Chad. Actually, I really should say night, as Beloved and I arrived home and hit bed at about 2am..... Chad and Leah were married on the jetty at Nords Wharf, and the reception was held up the road at their parents' house. The weather was beautiful, and the lake was a beautiful, slightly rippling mirror. The bride was gorgeous in her pale, icy green gown, and the groom glowed when he saw her. The service was simple, elegant and meaningful.

And then the party started. Doug and Janine had devoted their small yard and had a marquee and dance floor erected over the pool area for the occassion. The food.... OMG.... the food!!!! Little tasty bits served in those natty little chinese-takeaway-style boxes...Yummo! Noodles, risotto, tiny filet-mignons, beef and chicken kebabs, thai salads, fresh prawns..... teeny tiny gelatos cones for desert... or a fresh fruit and cheese platter...... and more that I just can't remember. And loads of trusty old alcohol.

I say that these people are my family, but there is no blood that links us. What we have is more than that. And it's more enduring. These people met me as a child, and chose to keep me. And I love them. More than a lot of relatives that I never see, but must be linked to........

Having said that, I have a lot of rellos that I share DNA with that I adore as well. I LOVE my family..... all the ones that matter, anyway.

Anyway, I have to get on with the realities of my life at the moment. They are insistent, and keep pressing against my carefully constructed bubble walls that are keeping them at bay. I have a yoo-goo-gally (that's eulogy for those who haven't seen "Zoolander") to write for my luvverly mum..... If anybody has anything that they would like included, please let me know. Her funeral is tomorrow at Pettigrew's funeral chapel at Belmont at 2pm. All are welcome. So I'd better get on with it... no pressure here...... but then again, some of my best work has come out of a last minute rush.......

Bye-eeee xoxoxoxox

Sadie.....

Hi guys.

Sorry for not being present in blogland lately. Life's been full, as usual. Lot's of time has been spent in Newcastle with my family. Things have not gone well with mum. This afternoon, at about a quarter to two, she passed away. At the moment, my feelings are mixed, to say the least. Most tangible is the feeling of relief that mum is finally free of the dreadful pain of the past few weeks.

I guess that I am numb. Everything is surreal. At her house, it just feels like the same empty place as the last few weeks whilst she has been in hospital.


A busy few days are ahead.

And then I will get on with the business of living without her in my life. Not sure about this one. Actually, it scares the crap out of me.

I guess I'll just keep putting one foot in front of the other.

Thanks to all for your thoughts.

More later. I'll need to blog, I think.

The beat goes on.................

Hi Guys.

You'd better get a drink and some nourishment, now that I've re-read this finished post. And make sure that you do some exercises to prevent deep vein thrombosis... it's a bit long-winded. You've been warned.

There isn't much to report on the Nan front. It's all sideways stepping and "holding patterns" at the moment. Her pain management is not good, and has changed quite a few times. Currently, she's back on the self-administering form, PCA, but she continues to struggle with this. The poor love is still "Nil by mouth", which includes any ice chips or lollies... As a diet strategy, this is effective, but a tad extreme. She is fed via a special dietary fluid that is fed straight into a direct intravenous line in her neck. Her trachy tube is still in place, and her breathing is still augmented by oxygen a lot of the time. The speech pathologist has tried to introduce a speech valve onto the trachy a number of times, but it appears to produce some resistance into the airway, which results in a panicked mum. Not good. So her communication is frustrating at best. And the poor darlin's a pincushion from her fingertips back to her torso and down her thighs. Covered in bruises she is.

Tonight's instalment includes a blood transfusion, another scan on her tummy and the possibility that she may have a type of pneumonia. It's hard to comprehend how a person who has been on antibiotics for around two months, in varying dosages and arrangements can have developed this. I hope that it's not a fungal or yeast infection.... much trickier and harder to cure.

There is no joy in my mother. A pained resignation, frustration and deep-to-the-bone exhaustion are apparent. She will reach for a hand to hold, shed the occassional tear (only because she can't help it; my mother tends to be of the old school of thought when it comes to showing emotion), grimace or pucker up for a kiss. Most of the time, however, she is a blank mask.

I have not seen my mum smile since the morning before her 1st surgery on Feb 28.

I realised today that I haven't extolled the excellent performance by Scorpaboy in the Oceanic Mototrials Challenge in Queensland at Easter. And excellent he was. The Kiwi representative was older, more experienced and competition-savvy than my boy. Kiwi-Nick, whose dad is a multi-champion and Mototrials park owner, has just stepped up into the "Expert" grade, whilst Aussie-Jack has just stepped up to "A" grade. At the end of the 1st day, Kiwi-Nick was 50 points ahead of Jack, which is quite a large head start. At the end of day 2, Jack had ridden his little arse off to finish just 8 points behind him, and in fact, rode the best lap of the day.

Go Jack!!!


Kiwi-Kevin, Aussies Jack, Garan & Boyd, Kiwi-Wayne and Kiwi-Nick in the front.

The Aussies, Jack, Garan and Boyd, won the pointscore over the event, and became the 2008 Oceanic MotoTrials Champs! That make the score even; the Aussies and the Kiwis have now won the title 9 times each.

The Kiwis, Youth rider, Nick; Masters rider, Kevin, and Expert rider, Wayne, were fabulous guys both on and off the bikes, and a great time was had by all. No animosity at all, just some very friendly rivalry and ribbing. Such as; "how do you make a Kiwi run for his life?"... for one these guys, it was simply a matter of showing him one of our wonderful array of Australian spiders...... These guys were just petrified...... funny stuff. But maybe you had to be there.

Vegeboy had a lovely time in QLD too, catching up with friends on the Sunshine Coast end of Brisbane and enjoying a "Family Guy" marathon.

I spent a wonderful Saturday night with my friend, Angela, in Brisbane. She was the one that I flew to visit in Brissie a couple of weekends ago to bring home lovely lovely old leadlight doors. And you know what? The Easter Bunny delivered a delicious White Lindt Easter egg to me. I was the only one in the family to get one. I must have been very good lately. I love Ange & her husband, John. Freshly brewed coffee, hot cross buns, then a very tasty fry-up for brekky. And also thanks to this pair, I can find my way around the streets of Brisbane & it's surrounds quite well these days.....

And a word of advice to anyone contemplating travelling north . NEVER, EVER, EVER travel up the Mount Lindsay Highway between Warwick, Woodenbong and Beaudesert. It's barely more traversable than a back road west of the Black Stump. Tarred? Yes. Pretty? Yes. Dreadful? Definitely. The 70k's of dirt road to Tenterfield was a doddle in comparison......

What else? I packed up Mum's lounge room, moved furniture, and commenced scraping the old carpet and it's disgusting rubber backing off the floor in preparation for a lovely clean new floor last Sunday. Yes, scraped..... then the floor was scrubbed with steel wool... The old, blind, deaf, incontinent dog had left his mark .... everywhere.... and the new puppies think that they can too. Of course, now all the furniture has been moved, the walls look fairly ordinary, and need painting..... Dad's a bit resistant to this idea. It's been hard enough to get his head around replacing the flooring. He reckons that it's all ok, and it's not that long since it was all painted. Ok. Lounge/kitchen; 13yrs ago. Bed 3; 13yrs ago. Bed 2; 32 yrs ago. Bed 1; 44 yrs ago, but in all fairness, the ceiling was re-painted 13 yrs ago. In the 44+ yrs since the house was built, the living areas have been repainted twice, as was the Bed 1 ceiling, the last time as an insurance claim after a truck accidentally ran into the front corner of the house. It would be fair to say that Dad is no Mr Maintainence.

I'm not interested in painting it myself. Does anyone know a good painter??? And one that is preferably economical too??????

I'm so soft, unfit and lazy these days; I'm still recovering from the physical stuff of it all, and my knees are pathetically sore. And there's more scraping to do this weekend......

I finish at the Day Centre on Thursday. I'll be sad. I have asked to slink away quietly, but no; there is a BBQ with the clients tomorrow, and a morning tea with all the staff on Thursday. God; it's hard enough to leave these wonderful people without all the fuss......
Friday, I have an Orientation at Belmont TAFE, then on Monday, a Hunter New England Health Orientation at Muswellbrook. And then holidays..... *snort* .. as if....

The Renovations???
Chugging along nicely, with all the usual expensive hiccups along the way. I've had to ok the replacement of all the existing gutters and more than half of the roofing, which were only put on 2 years ago, as the builder needs this to happen to marry the old and the new... not included in the quote. $$$$
The builder not realising that he needed to build a pier under a doorway and new stud wall that was a part of the added part of the house... even though it's on the plans $$$$
The window heights were increased as per my (original) request, but the builder than did not make an allowance for this in the placement of the rear verandah roof. $$$$$
The kitchen window opening was placed too close to the side wall; result? A new side-by-side fridge, plus a wall oven and hotplate combo....... to fit the now re-hashed kitchen layout ..... and no dishwasher. $$$$
My mistake? Not measuring the height of the window in the bathroom correctly, and having to swap over the vanity and bath tub positions to allow for the 2 lovely bathroom mirrors that I have already bought..... And then there wasn't enough room for the bath, so we have bought a free-standing one instead...... at 4 times the cost...... $$$$$
And I haven't (yet) cut cupboards into the top section of the linen cupboards. The ceilings are 3.3m high, and everything was done to the standard 2.4m. The equates to a lot of wasted space over the cupboards if we don't use it.... $$$$
And then there's the flooring that I want to be laid in the roof space....... Storage. You can't have enough of it.

Yep. Priceless. $$$$$ NOT

Oh well.... you get that.

Actually, the builder and his guys are doing a good job....... The plumber sorted, but I can't track down the electrician and tiler though...... And the new roof will go on starting Thursday, so expect a hurricane, folks....

Is your bum numb yet????

I think that I've rambled on enough. It's heavenly when the kids are banned from the computer......

Goodnight all. I'll keep you posted.....

Ta ta ;0)

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxo

No matter what the problem, she could always put it right........

Good Evening Bloggers,

Just a little update as I've just arrived home from Newcastle and it's 12.07am.

Mum is doing better this week. This afternoon, she was moved in an Acute Nursing Unit, which is a step on the way to a general ward from the Intensive Care Unit, via an overnight visit in the High Dependency Unit. She is still very, very unwell, but is attempting to administer her own pain medication, and manage breathing through the trachy tube without assistance until she becomes too tired to cope any longer, and her O2 levels drop, so the nurses help her out with a bit of oxygen. She has been attempting to talk, but with little success, as co-ordinating her breathing and speech via the trachy is tricky at the best of times. The repeated efforts just wear her out.

Her puffiness has started to subside, and her weight loss is becoming apparent, but her poor old belly is still very swollen and painful. I'm still not sure how she feels about all her "attatchments", but Mum seems to have resigned her self to remaining with us for the time being. I think that she's just too tired to do any thing else.

Anyhoo, I'm off to bed. Work in the morning. After tomorrow, I have just 5 days left in the Daycentre, before 2 weeks leave prior to starting my traineeship.

Where did all the time go?????????

Goodnight, everyone xoxoxoxoxoxxoxoxoxo

3am, it's me again....

Not quite; it's 1am.

The boys and I have just arrived home from a weekend in Newcastle and Sydney.

Big news of the weekend;

MUM/NAN HAS FINALLY DECIDED TO BE AWAKE!!!!!

She is very sick, exhausts herself just breathing, and is rather uncomfortable. She has assistance from the breathing machine, and has an oozing abdominal wound that is confounding the medical profession somewhat, but she's still here.

And she's a bit cranky, from Dad's reports, now that she's beginning to realise just how sick she has been, together with the amount of intervention that's been provided to prevent her from getting sicker and shuffling off her mortal koil.

But that's ok, because we knew she would be.

And where there's anger, there's life.

So thanks to all and everyone who's been looking out for her.

I'm showering and off to bed.

It's work for me in the morning.

Goodnight zzzzzzzzzzz

Sugar.... oh honey honey (for no reason other than it is in my aching head)

• Nan has a working brain;
• Methinks that she is making up for a lifetime of insomnia
• migraines suck; didn't work today and won't tomorrow either.
  
• I have 52 brick piers in what was my backyard, which will overflowing with timber tomorrow......
• Beloved & I are negotiating with the bank to advance us some of 'our' money tomorrow so that we can order things such as flooring and stoves, baths and the such like.......
• Must find some time to spend with Mum as well as browsing, negotiating, buying nanna-supplies.....
• Too much in my head..... can't even think of all the things except that there is much more than this to do...... At least my Beloved will be with me.
  
• Must go to bed as well......
• Oh nearly forgot... must go to cottage at some point (hopefully). It might be a flying visit...
  

Love to all. xoxoxoxoxoxo

And here is the news........

No extensive platitudes, just a straight-up update of the Blogmuggle life.

• The docs have decided that Beloved does not have whooping cough, but a virus that is being treated with antibiotics anyway..... (does anyone else other than me see a flaw in this????). If his cough persists, then they will do a blood test to check for whooping cough in a month..... surely, if it is whooping cough, then a simple blood test done NOW will confirm this. Why wait a month? He is feeling better, but is rather flat and tires very easily. He intends to go back to work on Thursday as we need money in a hurry because

• Scorpaboy has been chosen to represent Australia in the Oceanic Mototrials Challenge against New Zealand in Queensland at Easter......... Go my boy!

• Sizzled-but-not-fried Farmer Terry is on the mend with a few cardiac issues, but considers a few burned patches and loss of his big toe to be a fair trade-off for his continued existence.

• The building work has really started on the addition. Today 52 holes were dug and filled in preparation for the construction of piers....... I have waited such a long time for this to happen, and now I am just not ready. I haven't decided upon my kitchen layout, and none of the other PC's have been chosen either........ not to mention the paintwork and such that needs to be done before windows are installed, bathroom vanities created out of old sideboards, and the such like....... pedal faster, Muggle, pedal faster..... you've had plenty of time to sort all this out.......

• GG finally has had her braces removed today, after almost 3 and a half years.... I can't wait to see her winning smile ;0)

• Mum. I've left the best until last. Not that there is any good news. It's just that that she's the best. On Friday night, Mum had 40cm of failing bowel removed and a colostomy bag installed, which may or may not be temporary. She will not be happy about this. It really doesn't matter; her bowel would have perforated and she would be enduring a slow and awful demise. Mum and I discussed a lot lot of scenarios prior to her operation; this was not one of them, but still....... I really want things to go the way that she would want them to. But I think that we crossed a line on Friday night that we didn't even realise was there.

She still remains in an unconscious state. Why?? No-one knows. Her sedation is minimal, and she should be a lot more responsive than she is. And I use the word "responsive" in a very guarded manner. She is still breathing on her own, but with the tubes in place to help her when she needs it.
Tomorrow, she will have a Tracheostomy so that the tubes can be removed from her throat. Her movements consist mainly of sideways head movements, so the tubes are causing some trauma to her throat, so in an attempt to preserve her airway in the view that she will wake up, the trachi-tube will provide easier access, preserve her airway, and allow potential communication when she is conscious. It is also felt that she may be less-stressed with no tubes in and around her. She is, however, still fed via a naso-gastric tube.
I threw a bit of a spanner in the works this afternoon when I requested that a brain scan was done before another "life-saving" hole was inserted into mum. Over a week ago, it was mentioned in passing that maybe a brain scan might be a good idea, but it didn't happen. I just don't think that Mum should be subjected to anything else if it won't help her. And ultimately, if her brain function has been impaired, then it is Mum's wish that no grand gestures or procedures are done to preserve her in a state that is less than the condition that she was able to maintain before she went into hospital. She was very aware of the fact that she would be in for a rough time before she became better, but was very clear in her desire to be able to maintain her independence and full life. In fact, she was looking forward to being able to do more than she was able to do before. So, I asked my brother to relay my request (it was very hard for him) and he was told that they were thinking that they might do one anyway.......
So, Mum has a busy day tomorrow..... Scan in the morning, and a Tracheostomy in the afternoon. What more could a girl ask for? .......

Enough for tonight. I have been at war with a migraine that is being kept at bay by 'Codapane', and it is time for bed.

After I hang out another load of washing, that is.

Goodnight all. And please don't forget to give generously to anyone that is donating locks and/or colouring their hair in an attempt to fun raise for "The World's Greatest Shave" this week!

Byeeee xoxoxoxoxoxoxo