Thursday, November 12, 2009

You say, "why": don't ask me why...........

Hi.

It's been an unsettled few days here. I've lost track of the order of days. I think that it was Tuesday....

I found out that a lovely lady that I know had a massive heart attack at her home and died. I met E a few years ago when she was working at a local supermarket. She was one of those friendly people who always had a smile & kind word to say. She had changed jobs a few times, but her approach never changed. I used to see her out with her family, usually her mother, daughter & granddaughter. it's not often that you see 4 generations all together. And there was no mistaking that these girls were related. She may have been in her 50's: I'm not sure.

Then last night, I received a phone call from my NUM at the hospital in Muswellbrook to tell me that one of my workmates, C, had been brought into the hospital by ambulance, & had died.

C was 41years young.

I wasn't working at the hospital today, but C was one of those nurses that everyone knew. She was a people person, and very good at her job. She had re-trained a few years ago, so was familiar to a lot of departments from her clinical placements. On a personal level, C had had a bit of a hard time, marrying young and having 2 boys before the breakdown of her marriage. She then found happiness with a new man, G, and together they had a little girl, who is now 4. Her elder boys are about 17 and 22. The 22 year old is about to become a father for the 1st time, and C was very excited and very involved the arrival of her 1st grandchild, who is due to arrive at any time. It will be an incredibly bittersweet time when the baby arrives. C, who works as a nurse in maternity as well as the general wards, was going to be on hand at the birth. My guess is she still will be.

C had finished work yesterday afternoon and had taken her little girl to ballet lessons. She was chatting with the other mums, when she suddenly collapsed. A dr and a nurse who both knew C well attended her as they were also there at ballet lessons, but C wasn't coming back. The ambulance paramedics tried their hardest, and the nurses and drs at the hospital just kept on trying & trying, but to no avail. C was still in her uniform. She was one of ours.

Everybody was on autopilot at work today. Numb is a good word to describe feelings and actions. There was a debrief/get together at one of the local hotels this afternoon. Hospital staff, Drs, even the ambos came along. The sense of loss, shock and disbelief was profound. It wasn't easy to go, but necessary for those who were directly involved in particular, to help them verbalise and validate that they had done everything right. There was simply nothing that could have been done to bring C back. The cause of her death: a fatal aneurysm. There were no warning signs. Nothing could have saved her. It was just her time.

Other hospitals in the area are offerring staff to cover for C's funeral on Monday. That's what it's like in rural areas: we look after each other. Staff are already organising food for the "after the funeral gathering". In a couple of weeks, a bit of a roster will be put together to ensure that there is food in the freezer for C's family. There has been a huge push by top-level management to promote team work and the values of our health service. Well, we have news for them: if you want to see people that care, respect, support and love each other, just look at us.

But the grief here is palpable. And it will continue for the next few weeks at least.

It's so, so sad.

Sunday, November 08, 2009

What am I supposed to say..... When I'm all choked up and you're ok?

Sunday in Blogmuggle land.

It's quiet....... shhhh

Vboy and his friend have "gone out" for a while...... there's not much to "see" or "go out" to, here.....

Beloved is motortrialsriding at PPark on the Hawkesbury River. He wasn't going to go, but I told him that he really should. Things have been a little chilly betweeen us over the last few days, so at least we wouldn't have to spend the day at home ignoring each other.......

I went to a lovely friend's 50th birthday party in Newcastle on my own yesterday due to the afore-mentioned chillyness. Beloved felt that it would be a little hard and uncomfortable ignoring each other in public. I think that the 2hr drive down & back would have been more uncomfortable.... for him anyway. I was just intending to immerse myself in a book.....

I picked GG up after she finished work. She told me that she would "Get maggot enough for both of us", and she did.... funny girl, that one. She's happy and in a good place right now, thankfully.
I had a fun time, talking, singing and dancing. It was a lengthy drive home at 1am: it was funny being Random Breath-Tested 1 house from my own though...... "You're nearly home, Ma'am", said the not-so-burly-police officer, Dave, ........ "yeah, hurry up so I can get there" thought I.......... That's the second time I've been RBT'd in my street....... It must brighten up their very long nights while they're cruising the backstreets of a sleeping country village...... If they'd been out on the highway a little earlier, they probably could have booked me for speeding... just a little bit....... Home by 0315hours.....

It's been an interesting week, workwise.

I've been at the side of 2 birthing women. I want to bottle those feelings and that "look" in the time after the birth when she's holding her baby in her arms with her baby at her breast for the first time. There's no-one else in the room, you know, just the two of them. So beautiful..... *sigh*. What a priviledge to be there. <3

And then there's the other end of the emotion and life scale. I was caring for an 87yr old lady I'll call Joy. I have been involved with Joy for a number of years whilst I have been working in the Day Centre. Joy, a widow, had developed Macular Degeneration, so her vision has been slowly deteriorating, so her walking and ability to function on a daily basis has been slowly reducing as well, but with a little help, Joy has been able to stay in her own unit, doing her own thing. That was until she had a stroke a couple of weeks ago. The poor love has lost the use of 1 side of her body, but worst of all, her ability to talk. And Joy was a good conversationalist: very switched on. She was transferred back to the hospital overnight; I volunteered for the job of taking to the Aged Care Facility since we had a little bit of a history. I was aware that Joy had never, ever wanted to "go to one of those places...." She had been fairly stoic, but a little teary. When we arrived in her room in her new home, I put my arms around around her as she sobbed her heart out. Her sobs were the only sounds that I had heard Joy make.......... I am concerned that she will just give up. But if that is her choice, then so be it. Dignity can be hard to maintain when you've come the point of your life that Joy is now at. To be with her was a priviledge, also.

It's been a very busy week, so having the weekend off has been something of a relief, not that it has been quiet.

I have a new favourite song this week. I think my friend, Stefan, would really relate to this one. he's only just starting to come to terms with and make a life for himself following the breakdown of his marriage of 20yrs to Faye. Faye's gone from strength to strength since the break-up, which she instigated, while Stefan has struggled. It'a song called "Break Even", by Irish group, "The Script". The lyrics are very reflective of the emotions of many folk, I think:


"I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing
Just praying to a god that I don't believe in
Cos I got time while she got freedom
Cos when a heart breaks no it don't break even

Her best days will be some of my worst
She finally met a man that's gonna put her 1st
While I'm wide awake she's no trouble sleeping
Cos when a heart breaks no it don't breakeven

What am I suppose to do when the best part of me was always you
What am I suppose to say when I'm all choked up and your ok
I'm falling to pieces
I'm falling to pieces

They say bad things happen for a reason
But not wise words gonna stop the bleeding
Cos she's moved on while I'm still grieving
Cos when a heart breaks no it don't breakeven

What am I suppose to do when the best part of me was always you
What am I suppose to say when I'm all choked up and your ok
I'm falling to pieces
I'm falling to pieces
(One still in love while the other ones leaving
Cos when a heart breaks no it don't breakeven)

You got his heart and my heart and none of the pain
You took your suitcase, I took the blame.
Now I'm tryna make sense of what little remains
Cos you left me with no love, no love to my name.

I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing
Just praying to a god that I don't believe in
Cos I got time while she got freedom
Cos when a heart breaks no it don't break even

What am I gonna do when the best part of me was always you
What am I suppose to say when I'm all choked up and your ok
I'm falling to pieces
I'm falling to pieces
(One still in love while the other ones leaving
Cos when a heart breaks no it don't breakeven)"

One day, I'm going to learn how to upload videos........ computer always says nooooooo....

BTW: there was no other man in Faye's life who "was gonna put her first"...... Faye just found and liked herself. I don't think that makes it any easier though: sometimes it might be easier if there's a third party to blame, don't you think?

Enjoy the rest of your Sunday, people!



Cheerio ;0) xoxoxoxoxo









Tuesday, October 27, 2009

I'm right there with you.......

It's late, but I'm awake, so........

What to blog?

  • A NannyVal update: Poor nan hasn't really gotten over her infection all that well. She probably came off the IV antibiotics quicker than she should have. Every 2 days, she's back at the Drs, with the possibility of a re-admission hanging over her head. She is feeling sad and guilty as we have found a new home for the very (un)fierce Bindi the atttack cat. I think that Bindi was probably the last gift that PoppyDon had bought for NannyVal....... I think she needs something warm & furry for company..... but what/who/how/when?
  • Tomorrow: will be a difficult day. It's the 1st anniversary of Poppy Don's passing...... We've taken the day off to spend it with Nanny Val. I don't know what to expect, really. When it was my Mum's anniversary last April, we put notices in the paper, but didn't get together. Dad just went to work, as usual. So did my brother & I.... A busy mind kept us from dwelling on it, I suppose........ Dad is very private anyway, but misses Mum every second that he is at home. He aims to be away from home as much as possible.
  • What else?.... I've been working at the local aged care facility, which is ok. I like the residents. And the staff are ok too. Being 5 minutes away from work is very convenient.....
  • We are all well..... so that's a good thing. I think I'm a wee bit boring...... Facebook is quick & easy, isn't it?
  • Had dinner with friends before going to work on Sunday night.... Gay is such a wonderful cook... lamb roast...mmmmmmm
  • Ummm... working Thursday. Home on Friday. Prawn & Chicken Night Fundraiser on Saturday night. Working Saturday, Sunday, Monday. Course in Newcastle on Tuesday. Working Wednesday. Off Thursday, working Friday. Then 2 DAYS OFF! We're going to a friend's 50th birthday party in Newcastle..... That's me in a nutshell.. No deep & meaningfuls here. I think that they are buried too deep......
  • I've become a slave to tv again.... "The Vampire Diaries", "Good News Week", "Bones", "Moonlight", "Weeds", "Fringe", "Australian Idol", "NCIS", "Dexter", ABC Dramas & comedies mostly Wednesday/Thursdays... "The Big Bang Theory" "Frasier", "Seinfeld", "Flashforward", "Skins", "Nip/Tuck", "Curb your enthusiasm", "Eleventh Hour", "Torchwood", "Dr Who", "Red Dwarf", "Hogan's Heroes"........ mostly ABC & GO!. All of it is escapist.......
As a wise pig/sheep farmer once said......

"That'll do, pig..."

Goodnight all.

xoxoxoxoxooxo

Thursday, October 15, 2009

What's new pussycat?

This is the lovely Nanny Val, with her daughter, Susan and Susan's daughter, Sophie.

This photo was taken an hour or so after we scattered Poppy Don's ashes on the water on the beach at Tuncurry last April.
Isn't she a beautiful soul, Our Nanny Val?

Unfortunately, Nanny Val is laid up in hospital at the moment with IV antibiotics on board to clear up a nasty infection in her leg. Susan is the only offspring that resides in Newcastle these days, and so bears the weight of being there for Nanny Val when things take the path of the more winding road. And she does it fabulously. We wish that we could be there to offer more support. But we can't always have what we want.

Big kudos to you, Sue. Thank you. <3

The culprit of the aforementioned infection is pictured below. It's not the real culprit, mind you, but a fair representation of Bindi, Nanny Val's lovely Ragdoll cat. Bindi is only a young cat, and has a habit of hiding beind the furniture (her jungle), then jumping out & swatting her prey (Nanny Val) with her mighty paw . Previously, this has resulted in scratches that have required oral antibiotics, but, unfortunately, not this time. Bindi is wonderful company for Nanny Val, keeping her lap warm, as well as providing extra-furry insulation for the furniture (and anything else she comes into contact with).


She is sooo handsome. And soft. Softer than any tissues that you might hear about on TV. She is so lovely......

Hopefully, the two will be re-united at the weekend.

And hopefully, we'll be down to see them.

BTW: If anybody knows how to generate a lotto win, please let me know. I've found a gorgeous house at Speers Point that I'd like to buy..............

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Tomorrow's just a song away.......

Hey there, Bloggers!

The post title is a line from my current "song of the moment", Song Away by the band, Hockey.... It's a bit of fluffy, fun pop.... In the video, a nerdy boy dances solo to the song at a high school dance, entrancing a nerdy girl (after his shoe flies off & hits her in the head), and, eventually his enthusiasm captures everyone....... BTW, he gets the girl.........

It's been a quiet day in the Blogmuggle household. Beloved played golf with the guy from across the road. Upon his return, he professed that his may be "over it"...... He's lucky to play twice a year...... VBoy & I had a day in front of "Seinfeld" reruns, "The Flintstones", recorded episodes of NCIS.... yep, a day in front of the box.......

Oh and I LOVE GO! And ABC 1 & 2............ I watched a few episodes of "Frasier" last night.....

At the moment, I am "on-call" for Mussie hospital: a nurse escort is needed to take a patient to Maitland..... it might not be until 7 or 8 tonight, but at least I'm getting something while I wait. Work has been consistent, but I only have 2 Community Nursing shifts booked in this week. I'm fairly certain that it might not stay that way.... I worked a double shift on Wednesday, then knocked back a morning shift on Thursday. I was unsuccessful in my official job application/interview that I waffled about a while back, but I have found out that I am on the "Eligibility List"...... that's nice to know, isn't it: that I am eligible to do the job that I have trained for & that they call me in for on a regular basis?........

Life's pretty good.

GG has started an Assistant manager Traineeship at the Dominos Pizza that she's been working at. It will offer her up a few more challenges, less all-night shifts, and hopefully, a better lifestyle than she's had since she started there in February. It also gives her validation of her abilities & potential since she was singled out by management & offerred the job. She won't have to deliver pizzas as much either..... I am happy about that, for sure ;0) She seems happy, and settled. And very excited since there's going to be another "Big Day Out" in Sydney!

Sboy's been busy riding at shows, but this weekend sees an end to the bookings for the year. The clever little chicken has secured himself a trial in a clothing shop in The Hyperdome in Brisbane, so he's happy that he won't have to starve...... maybe he'll get more aquainted with "The Boost Juice" girl that he had taken a shine to......... hahahah

And Vboy? Well, life's just one big SMS for that one. He's happy just to be given his monthly $20 phone credit.... of course, he'd like more ... He's a good boy, sleeping until lunchtime, watching TV 'til late (He likes GO!, too). He even hangs out the washing & feeds the animals when I leave him a note.....

Just lovin' school holidays....... Last weekend, he & I caught "Inglourious Basterds" and "G-Force" at the movies: both good in their own way. I love Tarantino, and the animation & humour in "G-Force" was superb! While we were in Newie, Beloved was in Coffs Harbour motobikin' with Sboy. He had a great time. And we even managed to catch up with some friends for dinner on Monday night before we came home. GG was there too!

Ah well. That's enough of my drivel. I need to cook some dinner before I go to work.

Ta ta!


"Well, tomorrow's just a song away, song away, song away........."







Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Riders on a storm..................

Well, the sky hasn't fallen: I've heard no trumpets, nor the galloping of the horseriders of the apocalypse. Actually, I'm rather ignorant of the finer points of the biblical apocalypse... just tried to remember what I have assimilated over the years...... I'm much more familiar with the end of the world, "Buffy-Style" or in accordance with the breaking of the seals in "Supernatural".......

This, the advent of the orange sky morning, Beloved & I contemplated the potential "end of the world".... He was getting ready for work, whilst I still langoured under the covers: I posed to him the question of, since it may have been the end of the world and all, that maybe we should have sex. He replied wth a laughing "Do you think?"....... Together, we pondered it for a moment longer, then we decided we had better get ourselves ready for work........ It put a smile on for a moment there. And besides, there were birds singing outside the window, and in my vast experience, when the end is nigh, the birds will know well before we do, and it will be eerily quiet........ Anyway, there was no Lindt chocolate or champers on offer, either......

It's very bloody dusty, though.

I'm sure a goodly proportion of the Simpson Desert is going to end up washed up on the beaches in New Zealand.

I had a good weekend, catching up with some good folk in my life that I don't see enough of. That is, until Sunday afternoon, when I was driving home, and began to feel a little on the seedy side, but not for any good, over-indulgence reason. I spent Sunday night/Monday de-toxing my system... purging without my permission, that is....... food is still not my friend.

I am on the mend. Today, I went back to work, and have a busy few days ahead of me. But it's all good. I like my job: a lot! I haven't heard anything about the job interview that I had a few weeks ago. I'm not feeling too confident about success at this point, but I'm not doing to poorly on the work front anyway.

GG had a job interview this evening. She's quite happy with the way it went, so we'll just have to wait & see. She was shortlisted from 100 down to 40 for the 1st round of interviews, which is pretty good in itself. This was for a job in retail...... a written email application drew 100 applicants! Lordy, it's tough out there....... She's only applied for 1 other job, and then attended an interview. All of her other jobs have been an informal "Chat" with the manager that she was introduced to..... It's all very intimidating.

She's lovely, though, my GG. And customer service & people are her thing. I hope that she managed to get this across tonight. She'd be an assett wherever she worked. her Dominoes manager offerred to write her a cracking reference if she wanted one, not because he'd glad to get rid of her, but because he likes her so much........ One day, she will work out what she is really capable of, so look out! *sigh*... proud mother moment there. No apologies will be given.

Anyhoo, I awa' tae the sho-werrrrr...... Hoots mon: Only 2 days to the weekend, people!!!!

G'Bye <3 <3 <3

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Gimme a head with hair, long beautiful hair Shining, gleaming, steaming, flaxen, waxen Give me down to there, hair! Shoulder length, longer (hair!)

Hi Bloggers!

I've had a lovely day today.

I didn't work.

I pottered around home doing not a lot, for some of the morning.

OK: I facebooked & payed bills on the internet... sms'd...talked on the phone......

Then I headed off into town and got a new "do". Last year, I decided that I would "stop fighting the inevitable, and embrace my grey...." or something similar. Well, after finally seeing the natural colour of my hair for the 1st time since I first started playing with the colour when I was 15, I have decided that my natural colour is rather boring.

Obviously, I was smarter at 15 than I thought......

It is now a vibrant, deep violet colour. I have kept the front grey, which is actually a shiny silver colour. From the surprised looks on peoples faces (and the very positive comments,) it works. It took a while, but I convinced the colourist to leave the grey, and not to foil in any blonde. She's quite pleased with the results. too. The clever girl straightened it too, and looks very shiny and mod. I look a bit spiffy......

Even Beloved approves, and he's never liked it straight before.........

I thought I'd best capture the moment for posterity, as it will never look like this again..... the camera gave me quite a bit of grief, and the colour reproduction really isn't all that good........ ah well, not to worry. By lunchtime tomorrow, after I have showered a few oldies as well as myself, the insistent wave will creep back in.......



Then I braved the RTA to hand in the number plates from SBoy's car that died way back in April. Afterwards, off to the NRMA after that to cancel the insurance.

Followed this with a wee wander around the *ahem* shopping centre before I saw my friend, Tunde, who tried valiantly to remove the knots that have wound their way around my neck & shoulders, resulting in filthy headaches, and most recently (today) pain & immobility in and around my right shoulder/shoulderblade & back. There weren't enough hours to unravel everything, so I have to go back again next week.
I wish I could say that it was pleasantly relaxing, but I can't.
Fricking painful, that's what it was/is..........

A quick trip around the supermarket to find Vboy, who was socialising (it's a sad time when the most exciting place for young folk to gather is the supermarket, don't you think?) with his friends, then home and a takeaway for tea.

Then tv.

It's an exciting life. I bet you're kicking yourself for that wish that I blogged more often......... I bet you're glad that I'm blogging now......


hahahahahahahahahaha....hysterical laughter........hahahahahaahahah



Bye ;0)