Sunday, March 02, 2008

Life is a highway.......... I wanna ride it all night long......

Or so it would seem at the moment.

Friday morning, after the boys went to school and Beloved walked in through the door and went to bed, I added a trip into Muswellbrook to take in the money for photos that the boys left behind and purchase some food for the pets before heading down to the John Hunter Hospital to see Mum. There had been no real change, except that they sedated her a bit more over the day after adjusting and fiddling with her pain meds after removing her epidural. The boys arrived on the 8.30pm train for the weekend. I struggled with the decision over whether or not to travel to Brisbane while my father just struggled with the vision of his motionless wife. It has distressed him enormously to see no physical indication of life from mum except for the waving pictures on the monitors. He hasn't really spoken to her, which is no surprise really; they never really have been all that conversational during their married life. He just watches her and the monitor....... all day. Unless I take him for a walk, or suggest that I need something to eat. Then He'll do it because I want to. And he'll whatever I eat.... so I've been eating the things that he likes. I fell sooo sluggish and blimpy at the moment. And he agonises over every non-essential blip on the monitor.......

Saturday, after consultation with staff, I decided that Mum's conditional was stable, and that she wasn't really going to alter much if I went away for 36hrs or so. It was with a heavy heart that I arrived in Brisbane on Saturday evening. And with an even heavier heart that I waved goodbye to my beautiful friend, Angela, after she had escorted me through the city and onto the M5 to Ipswich. Tears were streaming down my face. Angela is one of the most gracious and beautiful souls that I have known. Her life is extraordinarily difficult, but she just continues on with a dignity and serenity that she doesn't even realise that she possesses.

The drive home was uneventful. Petrol and a pee-break at Tenterfield ( with a coke zero and a wagon-wheel thrown in... I already feel gross and disgusting, so why not?), another toilet stop at Uralla, and then Garlic Pepper Chicken strips from Red Rooster in Tamworth for tea. I picked up the boys, who had caught the train home, in Muswellbrook, and hit the door at home at 8.35pm. I had left Kenmore at 11.30am. So now I can add another thing to my list of firsts; I have driven all the way home from Queensland on my own!

So now I have watched "Jekyll and Hyde", washed school and work clothes, and I am in the process of cooking some tea for the boys for tomorrow night as well as talked on the phone to Beloved, my Brother and my Dad. Beloved is tired, and the two latter men are weary and more than a little down.

And blogged. Because it feels good to do so. And becasue (xxxxx, Lisa) you care.

So tomorrow, after the boys board the bus, and (hopefully) Beloved arrives home, I will drive the hire-car back to Mayfield, and spend a few hours with Mum and Dad at the hospital. Her blood pressure is still all over the place, so they can't remove any of her support equipment yet. And yet, if they lessen her sedation, she reacts to it all, and tries to pull her tubes. So as a middle ground, so to speak, she now has restraints on her hands........
Then I'll shop and cook a few meals to refrigerate for Dad before going back to the hospital, and will probably head home about 8 or 9 pm. If I need it, I can probably get Tuesday and Wednesday off work, but I have to run the Centre on Thursday and Friday as Sue and Charlie will be in Barraba on a course. We'll see.

I'd love to go to bed about now, but my stomach is protesting about all the crap that I have forced into it over the last 5 days....... And in response to the small amount of pressure......

I think I'll go play scrabble. I just wish that it wasn't so late..........

See you later, and thanks for tall the good wishes. I'm not sure why my own comment posted 3 times, but at least I ended with more comments, hey!

1 comment:

Anchell said...

Poor darling muggle. It is hard and Im thinking of you. Life can be a touch relentless at times can it not!