Now as the rain beats down upon my weary eyes, I cry

Wow.

Thank you, Michelle.

I have received award an occassional award before, but this one from Michelle, & the accompanying sentiment is just so lovely and from the heart..........

And such a slack & uncommitted blogger, I am. And very humbled.

Like Lisa, I don't tend to "do" awards, but .......

Well, there you go.
I am speechless.

I bet that if you all realised that this would be all it that was needed to shut me up, then you would have done it ages ago.... *snort*

I rode my bicycle past you window last night......

Good evening Bloggers ;0)

I have finally worked a full shift as a real nurse! And it was nightshift, too: my first ever!!!!
It wasn't too scary, but the hospital at night is such a different place. We were constantly busy, & never even stoppped for a break, but ate & drank at the desk throughout the shift. I worked with some of the best of the staff as well.

I will have to learn how to sleep properly after a nightshift, though. I was called in at lunchtime, so by the time I went to bed this morning, I had been awake for 29hrs straight. The shift was from 9.30pm until 7.30am: I only slept for 4hrs, then was awake again. I have another shift booked in for May 31, and again, I don't have to work the next day (I have refused a shift in the daycentre), so if I don't sleep too well, it won't be an issue. But, I have a month of nightshifts booked in for August, so I really will have to learn how to sleep as I have to back up for 4 nights in a row.....

............. Newie tomorrow to try to sort out Poppy Ken's operation schedule. Good luck to me with that one >_<

The weekend was good. SBoys Freestyle Trials Stunt show is a lot of fun. He has learned an enormous amount over the past 6 months. After watching what he does, I think I can feel a heart attack coming on......... Nanny Val & Poppy Ken both saw the shows on Sunday, and were most chuffed, even if Nanny Val was watching it with her eyes shut a lot of the time! Poppy Ken reckons that the boys are mad, but I found a newspaper clipping of him in his younger days practising to break a motorcycle long jump record....... which I have used with good effect. GG turned up to watch before heading to Mussie to work, & family friends, Doug & Nine were there as well. We were even home in time to watch "Merlin" on Sunday evening!

I took Vboy to the on-call GP yesterday, arriving at the surgery at 8.40am. We finally saw the doc at 11.50am. She decided that Vboy most likely has a viral infection rather than the appendix issue or bowel blockage that I was concerned about, which she feels will right itself. I hope she's right, as on June 16, Vboy heads off on his "Outward Bound" bush camping experience in the Toonumbar National Park, near Kyogle, for 7 days. There are no toilets there: the kids dig a hole when they need to go.......... It's definitely not the place to have a bowel infection. He will be eating loads of different food to what he's used to, so I think that his stomach is going to be very challenged. I will be very surprised if he doesn't arrive home a lot lighter than when he left. But the idea is that he challenges himself to find what's within. The founder of Outward Bound, Kurt Hahn, has the saying;

"We are better than we know. If only we can be brought to realise this, we may never be prepared to settle for less"..........

I hope he's right.

I think that's about all I have to report for now.

Have a good day tomorrow!

:0) ;0) :0) ;0) :0) ;0) :0) ;0) :0) ;0)

Home, home on the range.......

Still here.


But Vboy is not too bad. A quiet day at home with his mummy will do him good. I am concerned that he may have a rumbling appendix.


See y'all later ;0)

________________________________

If you leave me, can I come too?

Hi Guys.

It's a wet and windy night up here. Great for blogging, eating, facebooking, eating, drinking, eating and, eventually, snuggling up in bed with Beloved.

I'm not sure if I'm coming to Newcastle tomorrow.

My car is a bit off, so Beloved has bits (coils) that he is going to have tested tomorrow. We've checked out a number of other possibilities, but have been unsuccessful thus far.

VBoy is a bit off-colour this evening as well. He has had a headache all day & looks quite rheumy around the eyes. He also has some tummy tenderness that bothers me more than anything. He is quite flat & not himself. I'd rather not leave him at home on his own tomorrow. If the car was ok, I'd just bring him with me, but if I come, I'll be catching a train at 6am. He's not up to that.

*sigh*

I guess I'll make a decision about 4.30am.

GG says that she can manage the specialist without me. But she needs my money. I would like to make sure that she is adequately treated as well, which hasn't necessarily been the case up to now.

Sboy and Jack F are performing at the Caravan & Camping Show at Maitland this weekend, so I hope that the weather improves for them. We are hoping to travel down after Vboy's rugby league game on Saturday, spend the night with Poppy Ken, then take Nanny Val to watch the shows on Sunday. Weather permitting, of course.

I have been looking forward to this, as I've never seen my Jack perform a show before.

I finally finished painting the architrave around the pantry door today: big news, hey?
Thank goodness: that's one less to be done.

I tried to post a couple of pics of the boys on here, but, as usual, Blogger found my technical abilities wanting....... I got them on here, but then couldn't move them or cut/copy and paste without everything highlighting itself then deleting..... such are my skills....

Never mind. See you all later ;0)


__________________

I hear the train a comin' : it's comin' round the bend.....

Michelle over at The Truth as I Know It is right: it would be would be really good to be able to get off the railway tracks right about now. Or at least of this merry-go-round.

Life has thrown another of it's curlies at us over the last week or so. This time, it involves Poppy Ken. Poor old Poppy has been having very decidedly inconclusive tests for varying ailments over the last year or more. Or, at least they were inconclusive until one particular cardiologist decided to be more tenacious & motivated/proactive than other medicos that Poppy Ken had seen. The result: Poppy Ken has to have 4 coronary arteries bypassed & grafted sometime in the near future. This is a fairly common procedure these days, but is not without risks.

And for Poppy Ken, the thought that he will be unable to work for a period of time (about 5 -6 weeks before he can drive ) is just unthinkable. He is convinced that he cannot live on the pension during his recuperation. I think that he is also very concerned that he won't have a job to go back to. Mind you, he grumbles & grizzles about this job every day......... but then he tends to err on the glass half-empty side of things anyway about just about everything...... he is 72 going on 92, I think.....

But he has to have this operation, or else his heart, which is showing moderate signs of failure, will just slowly wither & die, and we all know where that will leave Poppy Ken. The cardiac surgeon has offerred Pop a good deal (of the money-kind) in return for his exclusive service for a few days. Pop, under enthusiastic encouragement from my brother & I, has elected to utilise this financially-enhanced service. Of course, the admissions department at the John Hunter Hospital has never heard of such an arrangement, which threw Pop for a while. Investigation & reassurance by the surgeon & his receptionist has eased some of these worries. And as we all know, the receptionists are the real power brokers: they know everything.......

I go to great pains to never upset the receptionists.......

So far, no-one can give any indication of an approximate date for the surgery, which is a pain from Pop's standpoint: he needs to organise his work. He prefers to be in control of his live. In fact, he needs to be in control of every aspect of his existence.....
It's a bit of a pain for me too, as I intend not working for a few weeks so that I can be with him as he recovers. My Brother wants to take time off as well.

As I suggested a couple of posts ago, I wasn't overly concerned in regard to finding work, as I thought that it would find me, and that has been the case.

I was called in to work at Muswellbrook hospital this morning, & I have a day in the Aged Day Centre tomorrow. The local hospital here in Denman has booked me in for a weeks work after the long weekend in June, as well as a month of night shifts in August/September. The trouble is, I can't say for certain if I will be available until we know what is happening with Pop. The Denman manager wants an answer by next week.

I have to take GG to an appointment on Friday: I intend to see the lovely staff at John Hunter Hospital before this to see if they can shed any light on the subject. I'm not holding my breath, but I am hopeful.

Is anyone interested in some afternoon tea on Friday afternoon? Lovely Lisa has my mobile phone number.....

Anyhoo, time for bed. My reflexes at avoiding impact with problems are better if I get enough rest......

Goodnight zzzzzzz

The spicks & the the specks.......

Why is it, that during the simple process of painting the architraves around the pantry door, I managed to sprinkle my russet-brown tresses with "Whisper White" Aquanamel??????

"Whisper", my foot: it's shouting from the curling long bits at the ends !!!!!!

One coat: that's all I was doing, before heading off into town to pick up Vboy from a friend's house, and then buy some groceries.

Oh @#*%#@#*%$@# Plurgh!!!!!!!!

Groove is in the heart........

12.51.
9 minutes before 1am.
Probably not the best time to be posting a blog when one has to be up at 7am. But there you go. As a very wise 11yr old named Lucy once said: You get that.

This evening, very late, of course, I had an epiphany.
I should warn you at this point, that I may be here a while. But anyone who is a regular reader of my not-so-regular-blogs is aware that I'm not known for the conciseness of phrase.... I'm more along the lines of your read-until-you-can-no-longer-feel-your-legs style of blogger....

So there it is... a question of style. Or lack thereof. Over the last year or probably 5, I've just lost it. I'm not even sure what "it" is. For the purpose of this exercise, let's call it my "Groove"....

There you have it: Cyndy wants to get her groove back....... I'm not sure that I'm up to posing this question when I sit here wearing uggboots & a pair of lolly pink flanellette pyjamas with sheep on them that are "Dreaming of Ewe..." Fetching, no??????

A girlfriend of mine almost peed herself laughing the other day when I told her that I had lost my motivation & drive, but that I had the idea that they were hiding in a corner of my mind, behind my libido that was rocking in a foetal position, sucking it's thumb............

Sad, but true. And I know that I'm not alone. I'm not unhappy, per se, just not ............... Discontentment: perhaps. A constant companion......

I went to Sydney yesterday: I am officially now a Registered, Endorsed Enrolled Nurse. So workwise, things are all good. Don't get me wrong: I have made major leaps & bounds in a professional sense. I placed myself on leave over the past few weeks, & now have to find work. But I'm not too concerned, as I think work will find me. And I am not my occupation, even though it binds to people & places.

There have been so may major changes in my life over the past few years & they won't be the end of it. Probably the oppposite, in fact. There are definitely more on the way. Aging parents & the care of the same in the knowledge that their health & abilities are going to diminish, teenagers becoming adults, retirement (as if that will ever happen) and the mortgage that just doesn't seem to shrink, even though the money does.....

I seriously needed a couple of weeks to re-group. Holidays..... I've been constantly busy, back & forth to Newcastle, running family members to appointments & such, here & there, just like everyone else. When I've been home, I've just stopped..........

Now look where that has led us.......

Beloved knew that there was something afoot when he entered the back door to the aroma of cleaning products & the frisson of activity in the air... at 11pm...... "I think I need my sunglasses... it's too shiny..." he said on his way to the shower.......

As I tucked him into bed with a kiss, I mentioned that I thought that I needed to get my groove back: he knew immediately what I meant & nodded in agreeance, with the comment "I think that we're both a bit like that, but we'll get there". And it wasn't sex that he was talking about, even though the loss of groove is not without collateral damage......

Ah, Beloved.

My divine husband. I really couldn't have asked for a better partner. I told my mum after knowing him for about 3 weeks that he was going to be "big".. you know, "the one"..... We've certainly tested each other out over the intervening years. It will be 25 years since we met on July 4, & we launched straight into a courtship that lasted almost 4 years before we were married. He gives me a lot of rope/freedom, but will always be there to lift me down if I hang myself with it. This is purely in a metaphorical sense, mind you. And this is ardently (if grudgingly at times) reciprocated. He has accepted my need to be away in both a physical & emotional sense, just as he accepts that I often cannot share his bed when he is snoring or sleep simply eludes me. Shift work & study probably made this a little more acceptable initially.

He loves me. Me, me, me me............

We're big on change at our place. We've never lived in one place much longer than 3-4 years. I'm not quite sure why. Beloved & I both lived our respective family home until the age of 21. Beloved's parents only sold their home a couple of years ago, & my dad is still living in the house that he & mum built in 1963.

Some changes & decisions haven't been the most successful, such as buying the house we're in now.... dumbass me, & dumbass Beloved for supporting me in this, even though he was trying to keep me happy. Beloved: now there was a good choice... ;0)

I'm not sure why I have this drive to keep moving.... I think that it may have weighed heavily upon our kids at times........ VBoy is adamant that we don't move again as he likes being a Denman Boy.....
After all, where is home? To me, it's simply been wherever we all are, & never about the postcode or walls around us.......

But back to the question of Groove. Maybe we never left it.

I'm a bit of an "action" person, although not in the physical sense: I'm rather lazy.... Economical with my energy, I am. I think that you make things happen for you. So, I guess I need to make some positive steps in the groove-making scheme of things. Get myself out of this rut that I seem to have grooved myself into & start making a new one. Maybe I just wore the old groove out, so that it just disappeared into the dust. Maybe I do need to just start etching away again..........

Enthusiasm..... Joy de vivre... Where are you??????

If only I knew where to start....... but there are some positive steps taken.

I have booked myself into the docs to address a few of my minor, but nagging health issues. It's boob-bus & pap-smear year. I probably need a consult with the gynaecologist: it's been a while. You'll be pleased to know (not) that I have a colonoscopy booked on June 10....... A visit to the dentist, optometrist & naturopath should round-out my look-after-me-campaign. Yegods! I'll be working until I'm 90 to pay the bills...... The dentist, in particular, will be fiscally challenging.

Hmmm.. maybe I think that I'd better get more active on the looking-for-work front. It might not find me soon enough.

Can you still feel your legs?

Blogging seems to bring some clarity, doesn't it? My cat is happily purring as he eats his food: he always does this. And into my mind pops......

"Free your mind, and the rest will follow"...... the EnVogue song from 1993.....

Yep, let's free my mind so that I can get some sleep: it's almost 2.30am.......

You know, maybe if I can successfully clear out the crap that clags up my mind, then I will indeed find the Groove that's in my heart.......

"Groove is is the heart....... ah, ah, ah, ah....." So say Deee-Lite, anyway.

After all, the cat is now snoring happily. I might try to do the same. And Beloved has just appeared looking delightfully dishevelled & bed-rumpled, with a questioning "wha....?" & shrug. He looks like he would be a snuggle that is second to none. I'm off then.

I'll keep you posted.

Night all.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzz (hopefully)

Woo Hoo!

Sorry that I missed out on catching up, ladies! The week went so fast...........

• As reported, Friday/Saturday spent in Canberra. Sunday/Monday was spent in Cowra & travelling home via Newcastle to pick up S Boy from the airport & the dog from my Bro's. Washing done Tuesday, Sboy taken to see surgeon, then back to Newcastle on Tuesday night.

• Sboy taken to airport to fly back to the Gold Coast Wednesday after sorting out last details of traineeship paperwork. Shop with GG, visit Lovely Lisa for a quick cuppa Wednesday evening. Cooked dad Red Rooster for tea.

• Thursday, cleaned out mum's wardrobe, visited with bestie, Janine, after dinner.

• Friday; shopping, haircut, cuppa with Glen & Lisa at Westfield (I bought 2 pairs of high heeled shoes!!!!!), organised impromptu housewarming for my friend/hairdresser, Maxine. 6 women sat around Maxine's table, & 6 lives have all undergone big changes over the last year. It was so good to sit and talk. Oh... and laugh..... the conversation definitely took the odd bawdy turn..... there was so much cackling, that I wouldn't have been surprised to see an egg or two under the chairs....

• Saturday, I went to the send-off of the mum of a friend of mine. Ann & I have been friends since we began working together at Newcastle Uni in the early 80's. Her mum, Mary, was 83. A delightful lady, to say the least.

• Saturday disappeared as I drove home & met Beloved after Vboy played football. Saturday was the "Denman Food & Wine Affair", which is the premier event on the Denman social calender. The main street is closed & festival runs all day, then the fun continues into the night. The stalls were all closed by the time we arrived: Beloved, in his naivete, had thought that we would be able to eat a lovely meal at the pub.... no chance when to town's population doubles in size for the evening....... Thank goodness for the local scout group and their sausage sandwiches..........

A band played into the night, & much singing & drinking ensued....... I was a little hoarse yesterday.......... but I didn't dance my socks off...... because my entire week was hampered by the stupid calf muscle that I had strained the previous weekend in Cowra! At least the bruises are finally emerging.... bugger of a thing is still sore, though... and I can't walk in flat shoes properly as it stretches the muscle out......

And here's a picture! Or 2..........

Beloved having fun with Tracy & Lois (she's going to kill me for this....)

Tracy, Amelia & I getting our smiles on........

At this stage, I am coming back to Newie with GG on Wednesday evening/Thursday morning, so the quest for coffee may not be over yet!

Have a good day all!